Family Ties

What defines a family?  Is there something absolute about a genetic link? If so, how do you define those adopted families that so effortlessly fit together with a divine grace that screams "we are a family".

I have often wondered what my family really was. I have searched, pondered, recoiled from, and down right self sabotaged when it came to finding my path to family. I was fairly certain that I had found my family in the last year. It consisted of both blood and non-blood family members. For the past 5 years, I had defined my life by those people whom I was blessed to call family. Though, in recent past, my definition has yet again changed, my heart has not. While my surroundings might look different, I realized while sitting with my sister this week, my family always has remained. Even during this time of some of my "family" missing - I love them no less and know we are family at our core. Perhaps it's something bigger, something I cannot see - but just as I know there are more children in my family waiting, I know that my family is exactly the same as it was 6 months ago. It will always remain that way, regardless of time, space, distance and circumstances I cannot control.

This week my baby sister and her beautiful little boy came to visit!! I admit, I completely love who she has become. While at barely 18 years of age, she still faces so much growth, I love that we have decided to remain close. It is not always easy. We are very different people, with very different lives, with very different choices all along the way. What is so nice about our dynamic is one being different from the other does not diminish our closeness. We have the ability to talk about not just the mundane day to day, but the deeper life lessons we're learning along the way. My mom is another great example of this in my life. We are not threatened by each others differences, and while we remain sometimes hopefully dead-locked in "are you serious" baffling conversations - we love each other so. My brother yet again, SO very different, yet so essential to my life!

I'm just overwhelmingly thankful for the times we have together. For the strength we all have to pull our shit together and try again. We argue, sometimes more than not. We are dumbfounded by the others desicions in life, and sometimes, we are joyously getting along like we always hope for. Sometimes we don't speak for months because we cannot figure out how to not hurt each other. Sometimes being a family is rough. It takes being vulnerable and strong all at once.

I'm glad I caught some of these great moments with family in the last little bit... It brings me so much joy to think of the strong, sometimes nutty and frustrating, but thriving beautiful family. I know there are a few missing right now - but we pray for them always. Hopefully they feel our love from afar.

I love watching my mom fall in love with her grandchildren. I know how very important she is to me and it warms my heart to think of the love and joy that grandparents share with kids. That freedom to PLAY and not have to uphold all the rules.

Myself and little Kayden bonded over chickens. He loved them and our Black Australorps are the calmest loving birds we have in our flock. So fun watching him love on them.

Daunika read her favorites to Ruby while Aurora was spoiled by her aunt and allowed to play some games on Rubys iPhone.

My mama could still use all the prayers she can get. She is having post-heart-attack complications with internal bleeding. It is making her weak, tired and exhausted. Not a nice time at all, poor pet. It strikes to my core watching her grow weaker and weaker. I'm not ready to lose my mama.

My brother on the other hand is a giant goof that loves his nieces and nephews. Rafa and Kalani are totally bonded :)

This family is a crazy one, but oh how I love being a part of it. However dysfunctional - I'll stick this out and work toward being healthy, happy, beautifully connected people who love each other. Giving up on them now would be a total loss, there is no loss as long as you continue to work it out with a common goal. Loving each other.