A date with Mommy

Yesterday was an emotional day for me and by the end of the day I wanted to do something fun with my kids that was different. Tuesdays are usually our nature walk days and school work in the afternoons - but I am feeling the impending birth reality and wanted to do something fun and different with my 3 kids. Who knows how much longer I'll be a mommy to just 3 littles.

So - inspired by a friend, I thought a movie date would be fun. We haven't seen a movie in the theater in forever. Our local theater offers movies on Tuesdays for just $1. The only kids movie they had available was The Smurfs (my kids have never heard of the smurfs before today). I decided what the heck, lets see it!

They were THRILLED to be at the movie theater. The movie sucked and the kids didn't like how dark it was, but they really loved the experience. Daunika said many times 'can we try it again with a different kid movie, please?!" Such a great kid I have - so smart.

I let them pick out some candy and buy pop corn too. You'd have thought I had given them a pass to win the lottery or something, silly kids.

So, with popcorn and Mike&Ikes in hand - we filed into our seats and watched the movie! The theater had great booster seats for the kids and they were so happy to choose where to sit. Small wonders to fill their hearts!

But of course, once the movie started, Moose spent 99% of the time out of his seat, completely captivated by the GIANT screen playing a movie on it. He wondered up and down the isle and I didn't care at all. He was quiet and happy and thrilled to be there.

 Our girls were glued to their seats sharing popcorn.

I agree with them, the movie wasn't the best but I'm so glad we all had fun and I completely plan on doing it again with them soon!!! Why not? Life is short :)

Festival of Trees 2011 part 2

You didn't think that was all the pictures right? Ha. Have I mentioned someday they might have to pry the camera out of my hand long after I pass away? :)

Last year they reorganized the kid area - this year it matched but unlike last year, this year it was overcrowded and we decided not to stay to color our usual ornaments or get stamps for the kids.  But I did manage to snap some quick photos of our kids briefly in the kids area

Aurora liked that the bears moved and Declan was not at all too sure about them. He made sure not to touch any of them.

But - he did touch candy. In fact, he was the last to get a candy cane yet somehow managed to gobble his down faster than his sisters. Silly kid!

I missed getting a picture of Daunika's favorite part - Watching the Irish Dancers on stage. Daunika has been taking Irish dance lessons for a couple months now and is absolutely proud of herself. Though sometimes it's hard when Ballet is so common and hip hop leaks in everywhere. We really wanted her to have a traiditonal dance style compared to some overly sexualized dancing... So watching others perform on stage in dances she knew, moves she could mimic, was absolutely wonderful!! At one point during the dancers jig she leaned over and said 'Mom!! They are doing skip-2-3's, I can do those too!!" I loved watching her connect her world with theirs. Fabulous indeed.

After the festival of trees, we were all super hungry. We decided to treat ourselves to mexican food and it was tasty!!

The girls gobbled down chips while we waited for our food to cook and we learned that Moose really loves salsa! He wasn't interested in dipping his chips in bean dip - only salsa. Which is really ironic because he then went on to eat a bowl of bean dip with a spoon. LOL

And of course, there's the cheap thrill that a straw can bring to a tired boy when he realizes it squeaks when you pull it out.

It was an amazing day. I love our family so much. I'm so glad we can give our kids our own 'traditions' every year to look forward to and enjoy our time together so much. I'm pretty sure I'm ready to take down all our fall decorations and decorate for Christmas now!!!

Worry not... pictures will come as we set up our own tree soon!

Festival of Trees 2011

6 years and the tradition stands strong. Every year after Thanksgiving is celebrated - sometime over the weekend to 'kick off' the Christmas season for our little family we hit the Festival of Trees. It's a fundraiser for St. Alphonsus (local hospital) and displays amazing pieces of art work they dub christmas trees.

With our crazy schedules these past few months, we've seen very little of Damon. He is working so amazingly hard for our family right now so I can have time to dedicate to our little ones and grow this next little one. Literally sun up to sun down he has been gone. So, in our sincere amazement and genuine heart felt JOY - He spent ALL of Sunday with us. Thinking about it literally brings tears to my eyes. The simplicity of my husbands presence with us is so calming, fun, silly, great, amazing, solid and awesome that I just cannot describe how great it felt to spend all day together as a family!!! 


Like every year (see previous blog postings, there's plenty!) - this means lots of pictures!!

Our beautiful daughters fit perfectly with this red and white lovely creation at the beginning of the day.

And who doesn't love a whimsical fun and funky tree full of PENGUINS?!

One of my favorite parts of going to the festival of trees is seeing the many different ways to 'top' a tree. I love how creatively they all match the rest of the tree.

I really loved this all-green tree (minus the phones and keyboards promoting the company sponsoring it). It was so vibrant!

And the really traditional colors of this spoke to me too...

This was Daunika's favorite wreath.

........ to be continued. 

Audios TV

We are not big on TV in this home. In fact, for about 2 years I've been heavily campaigning for the damn thing to cease to exist in our lives completely. Don't get me wrong - when it was in our home, it was rarely on. We have no cable or satalite, no converter box for even local channels, and in the last 6 months our free dvd player broke and our computer started to be wonky.

Our living room isn't exactly that large. It's not tiny, but when you think about our family, what we want to accomplish together and our common goals - there really is no room for TV in our lives. Furthermore, we fully intend on purchasing a small lovely home in the coming future. With that in mind, we had to evaluate how much room the damn TV took up compared to what it added or detracted from our lives. When we looked at it that way, it was really easy for Damon and I to agree - it just didn't have a place in our lives. We were moving forward with an intensity and aggression that did not allow for wasting time on things that didn't enrich our lives. Does that mean we're somehow anti-TV and think everyone is nuts for having one? No. We're pretty anti-marketing, especially to children, but we also enjoy watching movies together as a family and snuggling up on the couch for a good romantic comedy like any good couple. But all things have a time and a place - and this TV thing in our living room had out stayed it's welcome for this time and phase of our lives.

This is what our living room looked like before from the love seat.

As my husband pointed out... a Jenga style pile of random things had began to accumulate on top of the cabinet even... Totally my doing, whoops. We moved our blue rocker (to the right of the photo above) to the toy room in anticipation of our new arrival and re-did our living room a bit... Take a peak!


A view from the opening of the hall way

A view from our dining room

The view from the front door

Do you see - the missing TV?! The dresser in its place is perfect. We can see down the hall and it's amazing how much it was in the way before now that it's gone. It seems to open now!

It's official though... we'll be moving in August. It happens EVERY damn time. We are renters - biding our time to buy a home. Recognizing we are human, young, and building a business with crazed intensity - We will be homeowners in the near future though. But, being renters, I don't want to move every year. We typically sign 2 year leases. Well, this is our 3rd year in this house and we've finally 'moved in' to the living room --------- That is the sign we'll move out. LOL It happen at our last home that we were at for 2 years, about 18 months into it, we felt like we finally 'moved in' and at that point had planned to sign another year lease with that home but many signs went toward moving out... sure enough, we moved. So, 2 1/2 years into this home, we've finally "moved in" - sounds like we'll be moving on when the lease is up.

How funny. I'll completely love my living room until then though!!

One foot in front of the other

I really connected with the statement on this image above. Courage. What does it mean to be courageous? We all have probably felt it in our own way - defined by what we would take and what we would advocate for. Well, must you always yell and scream and advocate at the top of your lungs to be courageous?

I think not. 

It really is OK to admit "Today sucked, but I'm going to bed and I'll start over tomorrow". It has taken me years to realize that we're allowed to have really really shitty days and it's of no reflection of anything but life just is a series of events that we learn through, connect through, accept, experience and enjoy. Does it mean after a good cry and a look at the 3 am clock that you have neccesarily enjoyed the process of greiving the days mistakes, evaluating what could we have changed, what will be do better that you just don't wonder why the hell you're on a hamster wheel some days? Nope. In fact, I think sometimes you have to see the same wheel in front of you for awhile before you realize you're ready to get off and start really exploring. That is OK!

So, here's to being gentle with myself, forgiveness and acceptance. I am imperfect. I had a big fight with my husband and I felt completely vulnerable. I stayed up until almost 4 am without sleep because I felt the need to evaluate every step of everything - and at the end, I realized that replaying everything in my head that happen or was said was just dumb. Mistakes are made. And - as I lay down, I got a nice smile of the laugh is meant to be shared with others.

Even when you feel critical, down and overwhelmed - lighten up. Those around you love you still, and the journey of being imperfectly perfect is worth it!

And I'm ok with laughing at it in 10 years, 10 minutes, later from now and know that the real courage IS waking up the next day and looking over with a whole heart and giving it all over again because it's worth it.

I feel courageous today. Do you?

Sometimes, I'm just dumb.

There. I admitted it. Sometimes, I am just dumb. I allow others to shift my decisions. I allow worry to creep up on me and grow roots in the back of my mind. I allow myself to listen to others when I should take a deep breathe and just listen to my gut.

What got to me? Hmm... That is a very complex and in depth issue involving a very complicated story that isn't mine to share.... What I can share is in recent history I felt deeply wounded by the idea of a simple common cold with my children was terribly offensive to certain people. It caused me to evaluate how others viewed the world around them and made me very critical, sometimes angry. I suddenly was furious when I was singled out but then witnessed others with children around me having runny noses and no one told them to stay at home and stay away from their kids.

Like I said, it got complicated. Really complicated. Let's top that with the fact my mother had a major heart attack last week. This was a terrible blow to me in a way that I haven't allowed myself fully think about yet. I need a safe place to process and currently I can't find that place. I'm counting the days until my husband is home more! I'll have a good cry and allow that to process soon. Right now, one foot in front of the other. Focus on supporting my mom.

Faced with the complicated issue of having been told to keep sick kids to themselves (we're not talking full blow illness, we're talking the common cold), my mom being in ICU with a paralyzed heart and pneumonia attacking her poor body, and generally feeling alone lately - asking my husbands advice was probably taken harshly and I didn't advocate for my inner gut feelings. I heard my failures, not his words. I heard doubt that crept in and made me feel terrible.

DUMB. 

So what did I do? I drug my perfect healthy children to a doctors visit for the first time in two years. We have never taken our children to a physicians appointment for a cold, not once. In fact, in the nearly 6 years we have been parents, my children have never had a single ear infection, a single flu that wasn't short lived in their strong bodies, not a single need for antibiotics or drugs. Ever.

What in the hell made me think they would now? Even when everything inside of me said I was reacting to others, not acting to my mom intuition - I woke them all up from sleeping happiness and carted them to a silly appointment.

I'm thankful for our doctor though. In fact, after listening to their lungs, checking their oxygen levels, looking in their noses, ears and throats - I was told that they've never seen such healthy "sick" kids. LOL There was no inflammation of the ears or nose. No rattling of the lungs and the coughing didn't sound worrisome. The oxygen levels were flawless and our children had not stopped eating, drinking, had no fevers, no snot or mucous to worry about.

I basically was a giant idiot as I stood there and realized that I knew that. I KNEW my children were fine. These are not someone else's kids that are sick often and have weak immune systems.

These are my babies.

 And like all children, from time to time they will catch a cold.

 They are still loved and welcome in the world. 

They are happy. 

Well, at least I thought to snap a picture of my dumb mistake this morning :) 

A week of balance

Sometimes, when things are hard - it's important to narrow your scope and focus. 

Even when you feel your at the bottom of a really big mountain.... 

There is usually a path for you. 

These past months have been hard. We've learned incredible amounts about ourselves, the people around us, business growing pains, and what it feels like to be too busy. Sometimes it feels like a massive tug-a-war of wills and ways. Which path to take to get to top? Why can't that path be lit? What if I can't make it? So much to evaluate every step. 

One of the most important things we've held on to the whole way - We are nothing without those we love. All the work in the world, the money, the cars, the clothes, it's all just shit. I mean, well, I suppose it's pretty cool shit sometimes, but at the end of the day, it means nothing if you are alone. That pay check can never hold you - it does however keep you and your family warm and fed! 

Balance is key. 

So what did I do this week to balance?

I looked up at the sky from my front porch. 

I knit a hat for ME this time!

I made and shared baked goods with my hungry family. 

I cleaned, I worked. 

I grew life and supported it completely.

I witnessed a lot of snuggles! 

Even more snuggles...

There were a few moments of simple relaxation even!

Not as balanced as I'd like, but darn close. Now, if we could add in a lot more husband, a bit more social time, and maybe clean my own house - we'd be perfect? 

Ha. Who needs perfect. 

I hope you all are having a balanced week!

I'm a barber too!

Ahhh.... I think I wear a million hats. I am a woman, a mother, a wife. I'm a chef, taxi cab, a payroll accountant. I'm also a maid, a pet caregiver, and so much more.

Well, in this family, I am also a Barber! Or a hairdresser, or whatever else you call someone who is crazy enough to place sharp scissors near the faces of my loved ones. Declan recently had his very first hair cut. Not that I'm opposed to him having long hair - in fact, I really loved his long hair, but alas - I was tired of him painting his hair with sticky hands and messy food splatters. I caved.

 This kid needed a hair cut! 

Here's what his hair looked like the day before I cut it... Long, beautiful slightly curled at the bottoms. Darker than our girls hair, unique great color.

Here's the back of it, before I decided to be brave and come near this crazy, never still, constant in motion child of mine!

I snapped no pictures of me cutting it, or the during process. It was quick, moments really. This little Moose does not sit still. He moves non-stop. Having scissors near his head longer than needed was dangerous!

But I snapped the 'after' of course :)

I'm really happy with it!! I really did not want it short, typical boy style. I hate the assumption that boys must have short hair. In fact, if you talk to my husband, he used to have long hair. I have some great photos of him with shoulder length hair as a kid. Then something about being forced to cut his hair, or tricked in to it, and really? It's hair. Who cares if its long on a boy if it's that boys choice. But for now, I'll probably keep Declans around this length until he stops getting food in it!

It wasn't just Mooses hair cut that night :) Daunika has been asking for super short hair for several months. She has asked for "Megans hair". Megan is my very best friend and has hair shorter than my own husbands! But I wasn't so sure Daunika would love it that short because she really loves to put hair bows, headbands, clippies, etc in her hair. We compromised and she's really happy with it. I'm glad :) It's easy for her to care for and still she can load up the front with clips galore!

It was about shoulder length before we cut it....

And I bravely cut it to a A-line bob style cut. Here's the back and side!

All in this mama's day... I'm happy to be a barber to them :)