Stain, Stress, Blubber.

How to describe? I dunno. I'm feeling a wide range of emotions this weekend. Most of this weekend I've felt completely on edge. Overwhelmed? No. Thats not it, but deeply worried. I think alot of my confusion comes from pregnancy. This by-far has been the most tired week I've had in a long time. Also, I'm in the early hormonal changing period. Every minor thing seems to be completely blown out of proportion.

Ruby specifically. I'm having a really hard time understanding why she would be so careless with her body. And more so, why she still choses to make dangerous, and down-right scary desicions. It was stressful for me before, but now - it seems dooming. I really really dont want to fail her, but I know that simple topics to talk about usually, are shadowed by me knowing somthing is wrong and shes not telling me things openly.

Blubbery. Good lord. I am crying over the STUPIDEST things. And I feel completely rediculous about it too.

I'm also having cramping and light spotting..... scares me to death. really. Too hard to talk about, because in some ways, I wish no one knew I was expecting, its easier to loose then. I wouldnt have to explain anything then.

Essentially, I'm feeling stressed, badly. Its not comfortable, but I know that I will figure something out.