But inside, I'm fricking a ball of nerves! I walked away from my Essence of Romance business because it had become something negative in my family. Well, to me at least. I had taken on a teenager who needed me, and I needed to be there for her constantly. I was also beginning to treate my business as sales - which it isnt - yet it is. The difference though, I became worrying about money, and that made my parties not fun. I couldnt connect with my customers and feel like I was suppose to be there to teach them about healthy and happy sexual relationships. I had begun to look for dollar signs. I walked away. Kind of dumb, because we needed the income stream just as much then as we do still, but I truely was not being a great romance specialist anymore.
Tomorrow will be my first party in 7 months. WOW. Saying that out loud seems dooming somehow. I know all about my products, I know about the sexual facts that need taught, I know about how to talk to women about sensuality, being confident as a woman comes from inner workings, and how to connect/re-connect with your partners to live happily in sync.
What in the hell am I nervous about? I dont know. I'm still nervous. Today I'll spend alot of time getting everything perfect about my display table items, my order forms all stamped, my lingerie catalogs all in order.... etc.
What I need most is to remember that I started from nothing, and I will be just fine. I remember my first party, I was so nervous and scared really that all those women would know it was my first party ever (they were stangers to me), but I had decided that driving there, I would be so vibrant that if I scrambled a few words, or forgot the name of a product that it would be ok - but I would be so energetic and happy that they wouldnt care.
It worked. Lets pray it works tomorrow, I know these women!
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