Good things

Life around here is chugging along. There isn't a moment in my life where someone doesn't need me and sometimes that's a big responsibility that threatens to crush out the ability to stop and enjoy. It's interesting to reflect the moments when I am the busiest are usually the exact moments life tells me to look around and take a deep breathe.

Sunsets around here are stunning. It's amazing to wonder at the glorious world around us and know that it's too beautiful to not marvel at - and it doesn't take a hike, a long car ride, or a trip anywhere to see the beauty. It simply surrounds us here! That is my yard... Yep, it needs mowed. Yes, I would do it if I didn't have to borrow the lawn mower from my other half.... but hey, while it's long, might as well enjoy the pretty gleaming light from it while sitting in the yard :)

This past week I had to mourn the death of the motor in our Kitchen Aid standing mixer. The story of this lovely piece of equipment is fabulous - my mother in law gifted it to us and we have used it at least 3 times a week for 2 years now! Sadly, it does need fixed. But I am crazy and attempting bread by hand. It's a wrist work out for sure!!! I just don't think I can justify organic good fresh bread purchased when I know I can make it myself (and CHEAP). Really.... honey oat whole wheat bread made lovingly by me just warms my soul and I love the patter of little feet as they race to the kitchen screaming "can I have some!?!?"

And our chickens.... I remember as a child visiting Idaho. I would arrive at our great grandparents home and wonder "who the heck would live like this"... Ya know, 4 acres, 25 or so chickens, cattle, a big garden, huge family... Ha. Funny how growing up changed my "wants". My great grandmother loved her chickens, and as a child I was baffled by the idea. I mean, they are just unintelligent strange looking birds that poop, a lot, right? Yes and no. I'm finding every single day I feel more and more like my grandmother Ilene. I wish I could ask her so many questions from day to day. But every once in a while, I feel her presence, or a glimpse of enjoyment in watching our own chickens and I wonder if she was just like me - trying to live the good life and stay present in the moment with her busy happy life.

Yesterday I enjoyed stumbling on a mulberry tree where my husband was working! I have had mulberry jam and pies as a kid, but had actually never seen them growing in the wild before. We busted out the ladder and well.... my hands look a bit painted despite a lot of washing....

But those lovely painted hands picked all these! The kids love the taste of mulberries and to my surprise quickly asked for fresh berry pie. Sounds like our project for after church together tomorrow....

It's actually been a relaxed week. Damon and I saw each other a lot compared to 'typical' weeks these days. Our crew members each took an extra day off this week and we had some stellar times hula hooping, pizza munching, and kicking back together with each other around the fire pit... The kids and I accomplished a great deal of school work and also managed to not kill each other as the daylight keeps them up so late and they get tired or grumpy toward the end.

Happy weekend dear friends!

Summer begins

It's heating up outside! Summer is full swing into fun around here, and summer nights just call to me to be outside, swinging a baby, watching the animals, chasing the kiddos. We've been walking often, though I admit that I completely shy away from the heat! I feel like the evil witch in the Wizard of Oz screaming "I'm melting!!". We're enjoying popsicles, ice cubes, unlimited well water to play in, and walking distance parks! We're blessed to have spent some time with Damon recently even.. due to a broken truck AND on the same day, a broken car - he was 'stuck' with us. It rocked. (well, both roger and hester being broke sucks but I uuber miss my husband and I'll take any time I can get damnit!)

Around here lately there is a lot of Moose v. Moose wrestling! Either way, Moose wins :) I love this giant stuffed moose from Costco. It was a surprise 'just to make you smile' gift for my husband but honestly the kids LOVE the huge thing. It usually sits in the corner just in front of the toy room and he gets read to a lot. He's been re-named about a million times in the last 2 months and if all else fails, TACKLE HIM!

I seem to have produced kids that love to love on each other too! All of our children have enjoyed rolling around together, giggles, belly tickles, and lots of time together. It's been nice to focus on one another for awhile.

Our spunky child is working hard at learning how to crochet right now. It has proved difficult and she gets frustrated when she cannot produce a sweater, hat, or pants for her baby instantly. She is very dedicated to learning this fiber arts skill.

Aurora is hysterical. No really, it is impossible to be near her and not have a great laugh at her wild spirit, goofy faces and constant singing. She is so FUN!

In our lives, it's completely and totally normal to photograph the outside and capture a cat, chicken and rabbit together. Huh, what a life!!

Daunika has spent at least 2 hours every day reading. She is such an amazing little soul that is so full of wonder and thirst for the precious words and excitement that books can bring. She has joined a book club that meets every Wednesday through the whole summer to read together and discuss the Rebecca series of the American Girl series.

Kalani is so fun. She is full of laughter, beaming from ear to ear as she sits happily and tries to rock forward on her bum to reach anything new. I am beginning to see two little white bumps on her bottom gums.. before we know it, she'll have teeth there! 

Declan is exactly like what I imagine my husband was like as a child. If he has a problem, he invents a solution. His brain is so amazing... to watch him interact with the world, to find a way around any obstacle is quite inspiring honestly! This picture exactly captures what I mean... He couldn't find a drinking glass, he understands we drink out of mason jars... so.... (that's a 2 quart mason jar. the ones used for iced coffee and kombucha in this house!)

This picture summed life up nicely..... 

It's not lost.

Yesterday was a hard day. My emotions were rocky and I as fighting to keep my peaceful center. I cried. My children cried. My husband was sad with us too. I accomplished little on my "to do" list...... To the outside eye. On the other hand, I feel absolutely fantastic today reflecting back on yesterday. 

We drove by something that set off a cascade of emotions from my 6 year old yesterday about her loss of friendship recently. One of the biggest efforts I have put forth in a long time is holding a space, a special sacred space, for my delicate and loved little children who have been caught in their first real loss. I refuse to shy away from her tears, or ever leave her with the impression of guilt, shame and hollow sadness. She sobbed, begged to see her friend, pleaded for me to apologize and make things better.

Hours later, many many tears in our home later, there I stood as my husband said similar things, on a completely different topic. All efforts were lost, my time wasted, his heart hurt for me over the waste he saw in his view. How could I not see the loss? I held my own, I did not run or hide. I was being called in that moment to be the best version of myself yet again yesterday.

Well, dear family of mine - I've lost nothing. I'm OK crying it out in the moment with you all, but my darling loved ones, I have lost absolutely nothing and you haven't lost a damn thing either. There will be moments in my life when no human impact will have any effect in solving my sorrow - but those are the moments I refuse to stay in. I let the go as quickly and easily as they came. How can I help others see what I so strongly feel? Yes, dear child, you're friendship is ended forever, and yes, that is sad today to you - but little love, do not cry too long - your life, those happy beautiful moments you had with your friend, they are not lost. They built you to where you are today. They taught you, strengthened you, and refined your path. 


How can I share with you Love of my life, my time was never wasted. My efforts may not have produced what I expected, and the turn of events were different in my future vision - but that hard work, those lessons and all that was given was not in vain. Those moments were enjoyable, and only when others taint them do I feel sadness for the misunderstandings. Hard work will happen, and sometimes the end results in something completely different - but the joyous work and memories are not suddenly bad because the ending is different.

I appreciated Pres. Hinckley's remarks today to solidify my testimony of my standing in this home and my example to my family -

"We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is mothers who set the tone of the home. It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. It is mothers who teach infants to pray, who read to them choice and beautiful literature from the scriptures and other sources. It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount."


"We frequently speak of our wives as the better half. It is essentially true," President Hinckley continued. "They are the creators of life. They are the nurturers of children. They are the teachers of young women. They are our indispensable companions. They are our co-workers in building the kingdom of God. How great is their role, how marvelous their contribution. How they add to the luster of life."


 So, while yesterday was rocky, and moments of doubt threatened to creep in and tried to eat at our foundation - I refused. I stood as the reminder to my loved ones - NOTHING is lost. Those efforts, those great times, the intense work, the heart and soul of our being in those moments are still absolutely glorious. Someone left? Yes. So what? Does that make them any less worthy of your love, your prayers and your smile as you reflect back to awesome memories at that park? NO. And yes, that field is empty, barren and dry. No land was tilled, no side-by-side husband-and-wife team work was found. SO WHAT. Does that make our previous times together planning, laughing, collaborating, planting and teaching our children suddenly complete shit? NO.

Life changes in miraculous ways. Don't taint memories or turn them ugly and somehow less special. What it was in those times, let it be that way. Allow yourself to welcome emotions as you learn and peacefully give them back to the universe greater than us and sit in the stillness of joy in your soul. There is nothing more peaceful than this moment, don't cloud it up with bull shit.

In short, yesterday was a hard, but glorious day. It reminded me of everything I want to be to this home. 

It taught me that yet again God  has had a hand at every step of this life, and those happy memories are still beautiful and happy. Today is all I am given for sure - I will arise to the occasion of making it GREAT

The Huberty Homestead

 

I love that thought.... Our home is not just a place, it's a purposeful place. Erika over at Inspired Mama Musings wrote a wonderful tale of how we traded chickens this past week... And in her blog she called our lovely home a homestead. What is so amazing about this is it damn near made me bubble over in tears and I really began to realize my 'dreams' of homesteading ARE coming TRUE!! It wasn't just a goal, a dream, a wish for our future... ya know, when we had money, time, and did I mention more money? It actually was happening now.
We are doing are best to live our morals and learn from this land.

What is a homestead to us? Well, first and foremost, we are farming an important crop: Our children. I think I heard it best when I heard the quote above from Pres. David McKay. That simple quote sums up a lifetime of lessons I believe. There is no career, no business venture, no friendship or lovely hobby that can replace a solid, happy and loving home. Nothing. And while Damon and I are busy always with 'work', there is no mistake to be had - the most important 'job' we'll ever have is this family. We are united and strong in this value and I love it.

But that's kind of a given right? Our family is first... so with that aside, what else are we doing to raise our standards on this earthly home? Well.... here's a few examples from this week.

Somethings always brewing in the kitchen...

On the left, our kombucha is growing it's own scoby and on the right, cold brew coffee is creating the loveliest smooth coffee for hot summer days.

There is a guard dog holding down the fort....

6 years faithfully by our side. Zoey is really the perfect dog and she's irreplaceable.

My needles are creating wonderful knits for our family.....

 Oh lovely squishy blue sweater...

There is so much we're doing in this life of ours that meets my 'dreams'  -  it is humbling to realize I am a small part of this earth and I feel so empowered to do my part. So, with this in mind, my lovely little blog is changing names, Thank you Erika for reminding me that my dreams are being realized before my eyes!

Broadly defined, homesteading is a lifestyle of simple self-sufficiency. 

Family Ties

What defines a family?  Is there something absolute about a genetic link? If so, how do you define those adopted families that so effortlessly fit together with a divine grace that screams "we are a family".

I have often wondered what my family really was. I have searched, pondered, recoiled from, and down right self sabotaged when it came to finding my path to family. I was fairly certain that I had found my family in the last year. It consisted of both blood and non-blood family members. For the past 5 years, I had defined my life by those people whom I was blessed to call family. Though, in recent past, my definition has yet again changed, my heart has not. While my surroundings might look different, I realized while sitting with my sister this week, my family always has remained. Even during this time of some of my "family" missing - I love them no less and know we are family at our core. Perhaps it's something bigger, something I cannot see - but just as I know there are more children in my family waiting, I know that my family is exactly the same as it was 6 months ago. It will always remain that way, regardless of time, space, distance and circumstances I cannot control.

This week my baby sister and her beautiful little boy came to visit!! I admit, I completely love who she has become. While at barely 18 years of age, she still faces so much growth, I love that we have decided to remain close. It is not always easy. We are very different people, with very different lives, with very different choices all along the way. What is so nice about our dynamic is one being different from the other does not diminish our closeness. We have the ability to talk about not just the mundane day to day, but the deeper life lessons we're learning along the way. My mom is another great example of this in my life. We are not threatened by each others differences, and while we remain sometimes hopefully dead-locked in "are you serious" baffling conversations - we love each other so. My brother yet again, SO very different, yet so essential to my life!

I'm just overwhelmingly thankful for the times we have together. For the strength we all have to pull our shit together and try again. We argue, sometimes more than not. We are dumbfounded by the others desicions in life, and sometimes, we are joyously getting along like we always hope for. Sometimes we don't speak for months because we cannot figure out how to not hurt each other. Sometimes being a family is rough. It takes being vulnerable and strong all at once.

I'm glad I caught some of these great moments with family in the last little bit... It brings me so much joy to think of the strong, sometimes nutty and frustrating, but thriving beautiful family. I know there are a few missing right now - but we pray for them always. Hopefully they feel our love from afar.

I love watching my mom fall in love with her grandchildren. I know how very important she is to me and it warms my heart to think of the love and joy that grandparents share with kids. That freedom to PLAY and not have to uphold all the rules.

Myself and little Kayden bonded over chickens. He loved them and our Black Australorps are the calmest loving birds we have in our flock. So fun watching him love on them.

Daunika read her favorites to Ruby while Aurora was spoiled by her aunt and allowed to play some games on Rubys iPhone.

My mama could still use all the prayers she can get. She is having post-heart-attack complications with internal bleeding. It is making her weak, tired and exhausted. Not a nice time at all, poor pet. It strikes to my core watching her grow weaker and weaker. I'm not ready to lose my mama.

My brother on the other hand is a giant goof that loves his nieces and nephews. Rafa and Kalani are totally bonded :)

This family is a crazy one, but oh how I love being a part of it. However dysfunctional - I'll stick this out and work toward being healthy, happy, beautifully connected people who love each other. Giving up on them now would be a total loss, there is no loss as long as you continue to work it out with a common goal. Loving each other.

Miles of Fun

We love where we live. There are so many people constantly walking, biking, running and getting out around here that I've been really inspired to join them. 6 weeks ago I committed to walking. At first it was tricky. I was battling a series of intense injuries and weaknesses since the arrival of Kalani. Walking? It shouldn't have been THAT hard? But it was.

 I have struggled for the last 5 months with weakness, pain, and the loss of control of my body in a way that left me often feeling so helpless and sad. I knew I wanted more children and if I couldn't regain control and become triumphant, I was doing a great disservice to my family and myself. My children are small and active, they need a mom who can keep up with them, not a weak and broken woman who can't play with them. I felt trapped, victimized by my own muscles. I have always had so much physical strength, why was this happening to me!

I started slow. We bought a trampoline. We made custom sized hula-hoops. We walked a mile a day... then two. We fixed our bikes and our strollers up to a fully functioning status. We got OUT. I've lost 10 lbs in this strength commitment, though I'm sure no one but me notices. I just feel better..... I'm even considering a triathlon in the fall. Whoa.

This past week I celebrated our new life changes by walking 4 miles to get some ice cream! The kids loved being able to buy their own little Ben & Jerrys.

And of course - Mommy did not eat all that Rocky Road-ish. I saved it and DADDY ate it while I was at Mom's Night Out. On the other hand, our littles did consume all their ice cream sitting happy in the sunset.

Ah.... Life is GOOD.

Temper Temper

We are a loud family. Not in a bad way, but it starts with both Damon and I are loud people. We don't half-ass things - we dive in like lunatics and it's a hell of a good time being us. But - both of us have been known to have loud disagreements with things before - each other, lifes frustrations, you name it. We do NOT bottle things in, we call it as we see it - period.

Well ........ That's fine and dandy right? We're adults, we can handle ourselves........ well, uh, we appear to have passed on our noisy objection habit. Whoops.


"I can't get my shoes on and I'm frustrated"

"I hate putting on my shoes"

"Well, that didn't get me what I want - my shoes on"

"Are you listening to me mom!!!!"

"Fine, I'll get my shoes"

"And throw them again"

"Ok, I'll come ask for help"

SERIOUSLY. FUNNY. I tried really hard not to laugh, but I am happy that I captured these moments on camera so that when this darling little man has his own explosive kids, we can say "We have NO idea where your children get it, you were so easy!"

Oh. Man. Damon and I should promptly call our parents and thank them for not killing us huh? :)