Not lost in the middle

I am the oldest child in my strange family. Both paternal and maternal, there is no argument - I came first. I can easily relate to adults that are often oldest children, or the leading strongly sibling among their families. I often feel like it is in me to dive first, not watch someone do it first...

But I want to understand the other roles in sibling and family dynamics.My desire to understand the individual in each place in a family is pretty simple: I want to understand my children for being themselves, not in anyone's shadow. I'll be the first to admit it's tricky. I often have my plate full, a baby to nurse, a toddler to clean, school to prep for our oldest... but what about my baby in the middle? Our darling Aurora, not quite a toddler, yet not fully a big kid.

I'm acutely aware of her, and not, all at once. She is quieter than my other children. Content to often watch the actions of others before diving right in. Once diving in, she is joyful and such a bright light to watch open up and play. In an effort to not miss this lovely stage in between with her, we've spent some quality one-on-one time together for the last couple weeks. Aurora is like me, she naturally rises early. She wakes up fully ready to go instead of taking 30 minutes to wake up like our oldest and my husband...

These mornings together we have spent time reading books, playing Starfall together, snuggling and talking. Watching her have a conversation is always fascinating and I love it! She listens intently and thinks a lot before responding.

I've heard many people ask 'how can big families work, don't you lose some in the middle?'... Well, maybe in some families, but I am really hoping never to become that family. I am really working hard to capture the happiness and light each of our children bring us. They each have a special space that is uniquely theirs... its magical.

I'm falling in love all over again with Aurora, I love being her mother. She has so much to teach me about the world with her little soul that sees so much....