22 to 16 = 30.

That number is amazing. Seriously. Can I just shout it from the fricking roof tops?!

30.

Three. Zero.

More than 29.

Three Tens.

THIRTY!

No, you didn't miss the memo, I am still only 25. The above number is what I am celebrating today in pounds lost. Now, I am not done at all in my accomplishments with my journey to becoming an athlete again, but HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL I FEEL FANTASTIC!! Yes, that needed shouted too. 

Here's where I started just 8 short months ago:

While I certainly do look joyful there as I opened our 4th childs first Christmas gift, I was really kind of trapped in that body of mine..... 

This was last week:

Unsure about the plaid shirt, it was given to me... but hey, it was warm on a chilly day!

So - THAT is THIRTY GONE. Wooooooooooo. Not just that number, but I've also taken my body from a size 22 jeans (in that first picture) and am comfortably sitting in a 16 today. I wish I had taken my original measurements but I really didn't want to know where I was starting from. 

For years, I have sat in a body that wasn't mine. It served me when I needed it most, it brought our wonderful children into this world. The weight also served as a shield when I needed to keep my head down and hide. To process and not make attention drawn to myself. In the last 10 years, I have held on to as many excuses as I could come up with for why I was OK with my body. And let me be clear - I was. It really DID serve me as I deeply processed. 

But at the beginning of the summer, I felt a break that set my soul soaring free. It's fucking epic. I feel amazing. Free. Flying. It's literally like my smile got brighter, my passion got stronger, my soul was more in tune with God as I had to ask the hard question - was there something so terrible about me that I could cause a deep hatred? The answer was brutal and tremendous. Since that moment of intensely looking in the mirror and praying with a sincerity that I cannot even begin to explain - I knew that it was time to quit hiding and to go forth sync'ing my life with The Plan bigger than myself.

I'm not calling it easy, but I can't really say it's been hard either. I feel guided, aided, advocated for and uplifted in an unexplainable way. What is amazing is I can look at my bigger self and realize it wasn't that bad. It was a tool, my being overweight, was helping me hide when I needed to. It's no secret to anyone that I'm less than enjoyable to some, but when I had to evaluate was I worthy of true hatred this year - I felt something freeing. Much the same as I felt when I let go of my trauma of being a victimized child. I didn't hate my biological mother for being her anymore, and this year, I realized I didn't hate me at all. I wasn't worthy of hatred from any one person, and least of all God.

Here's what freedom has looked like for me....

There have been hours of weight lifting. I must say, I have some stellar arms muscles these days. I can do 37 push ups now!!!!!!!! WHOA.

Costco and I have developed a long term love relationship. Simply put - the produce is good, reasonable in price, and fits my fridge. See... this is the same fridge after a different Costco trip a month later:

Which produces amazing meals:

I mean seriously, doesn't that just look amazing?!?

Countless hours have been spent hula-hooping. It's so funny, people come over and we'll all be sitting around, and I'll get up and keep on talking while hula-hooping. I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of it, but it's been a GREAT habit change!

And before you walk out of my home, you'll see this hanging on the wall. Such a simple sign really, but it's a reminder of all I am, all I want, and all that I can accomplish. It's an incredible feeling being unstoppable. To feel that light from within shine through.

So, HERES TO ME! Free, vibrant, and kickin ass & taking names. 

I'm gearing up for a 5K this coming weekend. It's a celebratory 5K. While I still have about another 30 lbs to lose, I feel a lightness in my soul that is worth celebrating. I am modeling for my children what healthy choices are now. I am not worried about hiding myself or staying small or worse, shrinking because people near me might not like me in years from now.... I feel glorious. I want to share this. I want to inspire and keep growing. My children have been the most amazing little souls with me. They have rode their bikes countless miles as I jogged and walked and jogged and hurled when it got hard. My husband has supported every single bite, or better, lack of bites that I have taken. It's truly amazing. 

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I'll update on the next 30 :)